I don't feel worthy. I feel so small.. I turn back to the very things that break me. Fear.. is a terrible thing. This has been a rough week. Yesterday morning I was at work and I had just starting waking everyone up for breakfast.. I walked into one of the residents rooms.. she's in the worst condition. She has a very hard time getting around she isn't always fully aware of her surroundings. I walk in her room and she doesn't know where she is I tried to explain and she told me it wasn't the kind of place she wanted to be.. I asked her what had happened to make her say that and she told me someone had came into her room that night and told her awful things and they weren't human voices.. She was having a nightmare. I helped her put on her robe and sat down on the side of the bed with her she looks at me and says, I can't even speak of it.. it was too terrible. I said, you know what I do when those things come to me..I think about God and how much he loves us.. I think about Jesus and how we're protected by his blood so nothing can get us and I start singing so it will go away.I started singing the words to one of the most beautiful hymns ...What can wash away my sin?Nothing but the blood of Jesus;What can make me whole again?Nothing but the blood of Jesus.Oh precious is the flowThat makes me white as snow;No other fount I know,Nothing but the blood of Jesus.With this child like innocence she looks at me with these hopeful eyes and says, can you sing that again.. I smiled, starting singing... and I begin to hear this weak fragile voice singing along. As the song endedshe looks up at me and says, so I don't have to be afraid anymore do I? And suddenly there at five in the morning with my arm around this broken bodied 90 year old woman trying my best to comfort her.. I felt him..I felt him sitting right there with us with his arm around me broken hearted.. comforting me. Suddenly those words jumped out at me.. What can wash away my sins? Nothing but the blood of Jesus..Our fears were completely different but we were both scared and in our fear we found the same protection.And I realized.. I don't have to be afraid anymore..I do terrible things but he doesn't ever forsake me.. I grieve and I hurt him but he doesn't leave. There is always forgiveness.